party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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