It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize