It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
