I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
