If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize