if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
