So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize