Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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