So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
