You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
