drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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