Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
