i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
