I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
