Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
