try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
