we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Randomize
