she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
My room smells like vodka and shame
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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