Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
