i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
