So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize