Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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