i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
