Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
