question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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