I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
