I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
