dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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