He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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