i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
