escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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