I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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