i don't like sucking hair
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I need water and some morals
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize