You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
