I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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