I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
