bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If I die, sorry about rent.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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