theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
