Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
