I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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