I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
