God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize