Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
