You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
