i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just invented taco cereal.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
