Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
