This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
