So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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