and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
