He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
