i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
