Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
