Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
