were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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