Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
