I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just found a bag of teeth...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
