Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
