saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Someone came in the potted fern
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
