I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
