After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
